Dude Where's Idle Phoebe?
by Charmed Slayer
Summary: Things get tricky when you loose your brain.


Dude where's Idle Phoebe 

****

**Disclaimer I own it all! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Please don't sue me!) **

**A/N The beginning might be a bit weird but it gets better I promise! **

* It was dark and stormy night. The furniture was safe and peaceful…or at least it thought it was! Suddenly the sofa's cushions were ripped off and its upholstery torn into thousands of pieces leaving its insides outside! * 

The next day…* dramatic drum role * 

Piper: what the hell happened to the sofa! 

Prue: how the hell should I know 

* Phoebe bounces down the stairs on a space hopper * 

Phoebe: Wow a bean bag 

* Phoebe runs and lands on a stray spring. It gets stuck on her feet and she starts jumping around the room * 

Prue: For the love of god Phoebe you're makin me dizzy 

* Phoebe lands on Cole and the springs get stuck in his hairy chest a.k.a the doormat * 

Phoebe: Sorry honey 

Cole: any way you could get your springs out of my chest 

Phoebe: We'll just have to wax your chest then 

Cole: whaaaaa 

Phoebe: a chest full of hairy hair on Cole's chest, a chest full of hairy hair on Cole's chest, And if one hairy hair was accidentally plucked out by the all knowing, all powerful, evil me, there'll be…some more hairy hairs on Cole's chest… 

Prue: For the love of god stop f***ing singing 

Phoebe: From now on I want you to call me Dzlembretopw 

Piper: why? 

Phoebe: because I am the all knowing all powerful Dzlembretopw 

* All of a sudden Phoebe attacks the freezer * 

Paige: Stop ruining my home 

Prue: who the hell are you 

Piper: I always wondered where those extra water bottles came from…and why you're always so pale 

* Prue whacks Phoebe * 

Paige: Omigod Chinese guy 

Every1: WHERE 

Paige: o its Cole 

Prue: he's Australian 

Piper: Shhhhh he's supposed to be American 

Phoebe: I'm going upstairs to pluck nose hair! 

Prue: did I miss something? 

* Phoebe is in the bathroom trying to get rid of that extra unwanted nose hair when she accidentally pulls out her brain. Of course its so small she doesn't actually notice. Her brain decides to kill everything it sees. * 

Phoebe: *singing…again! * I'm making nose hair go, and now it will not show, then I will eat some dough, while making nose hair go. 

Brain: Jesus Christ I really don't have any influence on her. No wonder I was so god damn idle. 

Phoebe: Oooo a bug! Hello Mr bug you can be my bestest friend ever… 

Bug: Holy S*** 

Brain: I gotta get outa here 

Phoebe: tra laa laa 

* Phoebes brain goes downstairs where it intends to cause havoc and destruction to all it meets! Mwhahahahahaha! * 

Brain:Mwhahahahahahahahahahahwhahahawhahahahyahahahyyyyyhahahoooooahahahhohohohohohohoehehehehehehehehehehhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuehehehehehwhwhwhahahahawawawawawawececececcecsusususuedededealalalalalalalaladadededdqdadededyayayeyeyeyeyrerererararararararararasosososososososososoahahahahahahahaha!! 

Piper: did you hear something? 

Prue: No why? 

Piper: nothing 

* Just then Phoebe jumps down the stairs, trips and lands on he with a thud that would give a normal person permanent brain damage but of course Phoebe nolonger has a brain so it doesn't affect her * 

Phoebe: lolly socca! 

Piper: what? 

Phoebe: freezers are cold! Paige lives in a freezer! Lolly socca! 

* Suddenly a warlock climbed through the cat flap and was gonna kill them al when he tripped over Phoebe's brain * 

Warlock: What the hell is that? 

Prue: huh? 

Warlock: that, that thing! 

Phoebe: Ooh a thing! It can be my friend! 

Brain: I am Phoebes brain and I am going to kill you all! Mwhahahahyeyeyeyeyeyayayayayayahahahahehehe 

Lalalalalalalelelelelelelallaalalalalsasasasasasososososeseseseararararsrsrsrerererdrdrddradratatatatatetetetetetetetetetararararqrawawawawawawewewewewewehahhahahhehehehahahhqhohohohohohohahaha! 

Phoebe: So are you going to be my friend or not? 

Brain: No! I would never be you're friend! You are just a stupid loony idiot! I don't even like you and I'm you're brain! 

Phoebe: you're horrible! I am not stupid! 

Brain: what's 1 + 1? 

Phoebe: 11 

Brain: Point made 

Prue: wait, if you're Phoebes brain how come you know what 1 + 1 is? 

Brain: Cuz Phoebe never worked out how to use me! And now I will kill you all! 

Warlock: Hey that's my job! 

* Suddenly the brain jumped inside the warlock's ear and beat the warlock's brain at poker * 

Brain: Now you must leave! Mwahahahahahahahahehehehehehdedededekillladadadadadadaerererererersr srsrsesesesesejojojojojojojojudieououououohuhuuhdieuhuhuhuhuhuhugukillgugugygygygygygfyfyfyfyfctctctdtastatatatatettetetererererasasasassdsdsdsdsfefefefedfzfzfzfztztztztzvzvzvzvzvznznznznasasasaesehahahahahah! 

Piper: Do you have to do that? 

Brain: Do what? 

Piper: that laugh thing 

Brain: what? This…Mwhahahahahehehehehhaahahahdadadadededededsrsrsrseaeaeaesusususuyayayayaye 

Ooooooouuuuunonononenennenenrnrnrnrnrnfnfnfnfeeeflalalaladededdededdadadadadadahahahahhohohohohoeyeyeyeyryryryryeeyeyeydydydydyryryryatatatatathahahahahahahahahahaah! 

Piper: Yes that! 

Brain: Its there for dramatic effect 

Piper: Well just cut it out! 

Brain: No! I am the big evil! I am going to rule the world! Mwhahahhehehehlalal… 

Piper: No! You are not doing that again! 

Phoebe: Wow! Look a big umbrella is flying in the sky! 

Piper: Yeah right Phoebe, like I'm gonna believe that! 

* Just then a big umbrella fly's into the house and pokes Prue in the eye! * 

Prue: Owwwww 

Paige: *Omigod she's actually out of the freezer! * Dude you've got an umbrella in your eye! 

Prue: Owwwww * collapses * 

Paige: sweet! 

Warlock: Hey I think she's dead 

Paige: sweet! Hey dude you're dead 

Warlock: aren't you gonna like move the decaying corpse out of your kitchen? 

Paige: Dude aren't you gonna move your ass out of this kitchen you were supposed to be gone ages ago 

Warlock: Oh yeah 

* In comes Cole, out goes Phoebe * 

Paige: Dude where's my sister? 

Cole: Where's your sister dude? 

Paige: Dude where's my sister? 

Cole: Where's your sister dude? 

Paige: Dude where's my sister? 

Piper: will you two stop 

Paige: I've got a plan 

Piper: Plan? Plan for what? 

Paige: To stop Phoebe's evil brain 

Piper: Okay tell me 

Paige: First we find Phoebe 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: then we get rid of the corpse 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: then we find Phoebes brain and destroy it 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: And then we go home 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: and then that's it, we're done 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: no that's it, that's my plan 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: look that's it that's all of my plan 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: no, no and then 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: no and then 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: Cole I mean it, if you say and then one more time I'm gonna take that umbrella out of Prue's decaying corpse and ram it up your ass! 

Cole: …and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then 

Piper: you guys just break it up alright? 

Cole: and then? 

Piper: just break it up 

Cole: and then? 

* Paige punches Cole and knocks him out! Yay! * 

Paige: man that was annoying 

* S*** Phoebes back * 

Phoebe: Dzlembretopw! 

Piper: huh? 

Phoebe: Dzlembretopw! 

Warlock: what the hell does that mean? 

Paige: why are you still here? 

Warlock: I'm going 

Brain: have you forgotten that I am still here! You have just told me your plan! Mwahahah… 

Piper: No! You are not doing that stupid laugh thing again and FIY since when have we ever used one of Paige's plans 

Paige: but it's a really great plan 

Piper: No Paige, it sucks 

* Leo has entered the room * 

Leo: what the *!?*$£!!?~#*^$!£%?! is that smell? 

Piper: dead Prue 

Leo: oh 

Brain: I killed her 

Piper: actually a flying umbrella did 

Warlock: Omigod a rat! 

Paige: Dude that's a cat! 

Warlock: no way it's all…ratty 

Paige: Dude that is so a cat…hey weren't you leaving? 

Warlock: Oh yeah 

Prue: hey who are you? 

Warlock: I'm leaving 

Prue: really? Man that's a weird name; you must really hate your parents 

Warlock: No, I mean…hey aren't you dead? 

Prue: really? Wow that explains a lot! Like why I have an umbrella sticking out of my eye 

Warlock: don't worry about it you hardly notice it 

Brain: why are you still alive? You were supposed to die a horrible death! 

Prue: come on! I didn't wanna be the first victim! 

Piper: Prue you are the first victim, I mean you did die an all, and you were all dead and… 

Prue: babbling 

Brain: great! Now I have to find someone else to kill 

Piper: how about Phoebe? 

Brain: I would but if she dies I die so there a major floor in that plan plus she's busy trying to see if she can cook her own arm 

Phoebe: Wow it's hot! 

Brain: well it's either Piper or Paige 

Paige: why not kill one of the guys, like Leo? 

Brain: already dead 

Paige: Cole? 

Brain: Naa, I kinda like him 

Paige: why? 

Brain: will you just decide? 

Paige: wanna rock paper scissors for it? 

Piper: Okay 

* Paige gets paper, Piper gets scissors. Guess who dies * 

Warlock: interesting twist 

Prue: huh? 

Warlock: Well, Piper always dies. 

Piper: good point, why is that? 

Prue: middle child? 

Piper: not any more and I still died in… 

Brain: Mwhahah… 

Piper: I mean it, no more evil laughing 

* Paige tries to use this time to escape through the electric cat flap * 

Paige: help! 

Prue: I would help you but you know umbrella in my eye an all 

Paige: Piper? 

Piper: what? 

Paige: help! 

Piper: oh, right 

Phoebe: must save the innocents! 

Paige: oh s***! 

* Phoebe goes to help Paige but accidentally steps on the close cat flap switch and Paige gets chopped in half! Blood, Guts, Spleen, liver, blood, more blood, wow! What a lot of blood, I didn't know you could get that much blood out of someone, holy…okay, okay I get it enough blood * 

Phoebe: oops 

Warlock: I think shes dead 

Piper: really? I thought she was taking a nap 

Warlock: really? 

Piper: what is it with you evil people? Huh? Never heard of sarcasm? 

Warlock: yeah 

Prue: leaving 

Warlock: huh? 

Prue: isn't that your name? I asked and you said you were leaving 

Warlock: I was… 

Prue: you changed your name? Wow! I wouldn't mind doing that 

Piper: what's wrong with Prue? 

Prue: sounds like prune 

Piper: what about Prudence? 

Prue: sounds like a car 

Leo: what's that smell 

Prue: might be me, I mean I was dead 

Leo: ewww what's that? 

Prue: Paige 

Leo: ewwww…hey weren't you dead? 

Piper: where the hell have you been? She's been undead for ages 

Leo: chillin' 

Warlock: did you watch that show about those witches and demons and stuff 

Leo: yeah, its great show isn't it 

Warlock: yeah I love that show 

Leo: totally unbelievable but great 

Piper: weren't you leaving 

Warlock: yeah… 

Prue: so you didn't change your name 

Warlock: I… 

* Omigod Cole's awake * 

Cole: what the… haha Paige is dead! 

Paige: undead 

Cole: huh? 

Paige: I said undead dude 

Warlock: that's the second time that's happened 

Paige: hey dude are you still here? 

Warlock: dude you know your still dead 

Paige: I'm dead? 

Warlock: yeah your legs are over there 

Paige: whoa! 

Piper: wait didn't you know 

Paige: no 

Piper: but you said you were undead therefore you must have known you were dead to be able to know that you were undead as in dead yet still not dead 

Paige: huh? 

Cole: anyone else confused? 

Paige: yeah! 

* All of a sudden Phoebe steps backwards and squashes her own brain * 

Phoebe: Oooo juice 

* Phoebe drinks juice from her brain thinking its o.j * 

Piper: is Phoebe drinking herself 

Prue: yeah I think so 

Paige: sweet! 

Leo: ewwww 

Piper: isn't that cannibalism 

Prue: probably 

* Suddenly Phoebe dies of brain poisoning, yay! * 

Piper: hey is Phoebe dead? 

Prue: Yeah I think so 

Paige: lets party! 

Cole: We're all gonna party cuz Phoebes dead, 

She drunk brain juice from her own head! 

Paige: She got springs stuck in Cole's chest 

Phoebe was always such a pest 

Piper: a flying umbrella hit Prues eye 

Went into her head and made her die 

Prue: Paige was killed by the cat's door 

Out of her body came blood and gore 

Leo: Both Prue and Paige came back again 

And Cole couldn't stop saying and then 

Warlock: I tried to attack but decided to stay 

I've been in this house all day! 

Kit: You people broke my new cat flap 

You're gonna die so stop this rap! 

Cole: but you are just a dumb old cat 

What you gonna do? This and that? 

Kit: I'm gonna make you wish you weren't born 

Then I'll bury you under the lawn 

Piper: Come on Kit, I was always your friend 

Do I really have to die at the end? 

Kit: I'm not letting anyone go 

I'm not a nice cat, didn't you know 

Prue: don't kill us Kit, come on, wait 

Put the weapons down, negotiate 

Kit: use your power, you can try 

Won't work with that stuck in your eye 

Warlock: right I'm going I'll see you soon 

Though you'll probably be dead by noon 

Kit: enough rapping I'm gonna shoot you all 

You're just too good, and way too tall 

*Kit gets out a huge rival and kills everyone! Mwhahahahaha! With the exception of Paige and Prue who are already dead but they decided to go to heaven for the hell of it * 

* In heaven * 

Prue: we died? 

Piper: wouldn't be the first time 

Prue: but we never die, well I mean we do but not for good! 

Paige: yeah we always save the day 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: you know we go home save more innocents 

Cole: and then? 

Paige: I am not looking forward to spending the rest of my death with him 

Phoebe: Cooooole! 

Cole: or that 

Phoebe: hello Mr coley woley! 

Cole: go away! 

Phoebe: don't be horrible! I know you don't mean it 

Cole: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh… 


End file.
